Spazzness with the Sohmas
by DeathFruitsMaximumSecrets
Summary: Total crack involving Yuki in a severe state of exhaustion, Tohru screaming bloody murder about... whatever it is she's screaming about, Ayame gloating shamelessly, and Shigure taking out the garbage. As my good friend once said:Oh yes. This will be fun..


_Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, or any of the characters in it._

**A\N: Ok, so I'm having trouble with some stories, so I'm writing this spaz drabble for (perhaps) some inspiration. Plus, I need to write something, or it will drive **_**someone who shall remain nameless**_** (but whose initials are **_**SkywardShadow!**_**) and (more importantly) myself NUTS! Warning: there will be at least a little (Yeah, right! Better make that major) OOCness. PS: I don't have anything against any of the characters (except for Ren.) I am simply trying to be funny. Hope it worked. That is all, peeps.**

**-DFMS**

**SPAZZNESS **_with the S_**o****h**_**m**_as__

By DeathFruitsMaximumSecrets The Awesome MWAHAHAHAHA!

"And I always thought that the day everyone was calling my name would be a good one." Shigure sighed.

He had just gotten off the phone with what sounded like a rabid squirrel, but had actually been a horrified Mitsuru, who had just found out that Shigure was on vacation (at his house). He had only been on vacation for about ten minutes, but even so, Mitsuru just had to call him.

Now, Tohru Honda was screaming bloody murder over who-knows-what. All of this kept interrupting Shigure's writing of a new and fantastic book, and he was tempted to totally ignore her, but when heard her scream again, he thought for a moment, and …. Sat there thinking.

Just then, he heard a voice that could only be one weird person.

"Fear not, Tohru-kun! For I, Ayame the Fabulous, am now humbly at your service!"

Yuki Sohma had just walked into the hall from his room, where he had been sleeping soundly, until Ayame had rudely interrupted his sleep. Now, he gave his brother a 'what the heck are you doing' face and said,

"'The Fabulous'?"

No one was paying attention to Yuki. Instead, Ayame and Shigure got ready to charge into the living room where Tohru was, save her from whatever, claim victory over defeating the other, and gloat about how superior they were to loser.

But before they charged, they gave each other _the look_, and twitched their fingers, making it looked like a scene from a western movie. You could even see how the ball of yarn that was rolling through the hall could look like a tumbleweed.

But you could just about hear the dramatic record screech when Yuki said,

"Um, guys… What are you doing?"

The elders then turned and gave the androgynous boy narrow eyes. Then, Shigure raised an eyebrow.

"We are being mature adultly men doing mature adultly things." He said.

Yuki shook his head warily, although they, in fact, were.

"Now go play with your dolls, or whatever it is you do while you're in your room with the door locked."

Yuki glared at Shigure, but it didn't have the same effect that it normally would, because the white-haired boy was exceptionally pooped. He stumbled toward Shigure, in a rather drowsy, yet lethal way. Shigure tried to calm Yuki down so he wouldn't pound him into the dust, in what way you ask? In a way so that it was as if he were talking to a robot, or Frankenstein.

"Ah-a-ah-um, Yu-yuki! Now, you know I didn't mean that, I-I-I-I was merely joking! H-h-ha-ha!" Shigure nervously laughed.

Yuki just kept on slugging forward, getting closer and closer to the terror-struck Shigure. Shigure realized that it was no use, trying to get Yuki to stop. He was done for. Goodbye, Life! Oh, look! There it goes out the window! Mind as well wave it "bye" now! See ya! Well, it was a good try anyway.

Yuki took another step, and was now face-to-face with Shigure. Shigure put his arms out in front of him and cowered, knowing that it would do no good. He braced himself, closing his eyes, and Yuki wound up for the punch, as Ayame watched in amusement, forgetting all about Tohru, and…

_PLUMP!_

Shigure felt something hard… and heavy. It was definitely not a punch, although it did slightly hurt. He heard and felt a grumbling. The rumbling was coming from whatever had fallen on him, and then he heard Ayame roaring with laughter. As Shigure opened his eyes, he saw what had fallen on him. The heavy thing was a very sleeping Yuki, who was snoring quite loudly.

Shigure pushed Yuki off of him, knowing he wouldn't wake up, and then started hyperventilating, which turned into nervous laughing, then roaring laughing , to blend in with Ayame. After a few seconds of laughing, Shigure noticed that Ayame's laughing wasn't stopping. Shigure said,

"Aya, it wasn't _that _fun-" He gasped.

When Shigure turned around, he saw that where Ayame had been sitting, there was nothing! Well, nothing except a recorder that was apparently playing Ayame laughing! _Ayame must have recorded it while I was still on the floor!_ Shigure thought. Now he had to go see what was going on in the living room, and why Tohru was screaming bloody murder.

"The banana…" said Tohru Honda, "it was watching me…"

Her, Ayame, and Shigure had just finished a discussion about how Ayame had come to the rescue, saving Tohru from the evil banana that she just _knew_ was about to attack her, at any given moment, by tossing the rotting thing into the stench that was… The Garbage! Fortunately for Ayame, Shigure had come in just in time to take the trash out, and hear what had happened.

"And then I, humble as always, Ayame, saved young Tohru-kun, valiantly! And did I mention humbly?" Ayame said.

"Yes, actually, I think you _did_." Shigure grumbled.

Ayame ignored him.

"In your face, Shigure! I win! You lose! I win, I win, I win! Ha-ha-ha-ha! I'm better than you are! I'm better than you are! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I am the champion! You are the loser! HA! La-la-la-la-la-la-la! Yes! I have beaten the looser! Looooooseeeeeer! Ha-ha-ha!" Ayame cheered, "Now, now Shigure, or should I say loser! There's no need to be troubled! Stop being so gloomy! You're getting me down, un-champion-like one! Ha-ha!"

"Troubled? Why on Earth would I be troubled? After all, I _do_ know something _you_ don't know." Shigure said with an evil smile.

"Oh, Shigure, my loser-friend, there is absolutely nothing you can do to bring me down from this cloud of joy! But what is it?" asked Ayame.

Shigure laughed his evilest laugh, leaned in close to Ayame's ear, and whispered something that was un-intelligible to Tohru, who was across the room.

"_**NNOOOO!!!!!**_" Ayame screamed.

"Yes!" Shigure laughed.

"It can't be! Who is it?! When did you get her?! How?! Wha?! Wh…!" Ayame carried on.

"What? What is it?!" Tohru asked.

Shigure grinned, extremely evilly.

He then said,

"I got a maid."


End file.
